Valentines Day Memories

Does everyone have that pre-Valentines (pre-Christmas, pre-Anniversary) talk with your spouse? You know the one, where you say, "Are we getting each other anything? Should we keep it simple? Should we set a price range?" or even more dangerous, "Let's not get each other anything this year." But then you have to have a back-up plan in case they actually get you something? On our 2nd married Valentines Day as we were having that discussion, I decided to nix that dangerous scenario right in the bud. We were pregnant with our first little one, Kirt was still finishing his undergraduate degree and I knew we were in for some lean times financially but I still had a request. "No matter how poor we are I want us to swear that we will always get each other something for Valentines Day." (Pretty sure we had the same conversation about eating out on weekends - haven't cooked dinner on a Saturday night in 15 years!) Here's the thing: I like getting gifts. There I said it. It doesn't always have to be some grand gesture, but knowing that I was thought of is important to me and Kirt deserved to know that early on.

Fast forward to the very next Valentines Day. We had a sweet little 5 month old baby and he had come down with a terrible case of RSV and landed himself in the hospital. Valentines Day found us on our 3rd or 4th day in the joint. I recall being vaguely aware that it was Valentines Day and shedding a tear or two when the nurse dropped by with a card for us. (One of the local elementary schools had made Valentines for the kids stuck in the hospital. Next year can somebody remind me to do that?) But for the most part, it was another day of tests and suctioning and staring at the same 4 walls for hours on end. We weren't even allowed to walk the halls because we were too contagious.

Around 3 o'clock Kirt had finished his classes for the day and was finally there to breathe some life into our weary souls.  It brings tears to my eyes remembering seeing him in the doorway. The term 'sight for sore eyes' has never been more true. I was tired and bored and worried and sad. My boy showed up with a Valentines note and a bag of my favorite treats. We were poor and thanks to that hospital stay about to become even poor-er but Kirt reminded me of the pact that we had made the year before and did not disappoint. I'm sure I cried and apologized for not having something for him, but hopefully more than that I thanked him for remembering for both of us.

Things have changed a little in the past 13 years: That sick little baby actually took a little something of his own to a Valentine at school today and I have had Kirt's gift done for weeks. And some things have stayed the same: We haven't gone a Valentines Day without a little something to let each other know that the other is loved an appreciated. (And I think that shopping bag that Kirt tried to sneak in behind his laptop case last night might mean that this year won't end our streak.) So glad I decided to ask for something I wanted all those years ago even though it seemed silly. It's made a difference and hopefully set a good example for those little ones that are watching us.

Happy Valentines Day!